Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Truth

A lot of people are saying that I used to be happy go lucky and cheerful before Greg, that I was.........different back then.

Here's the truth. The first message I sent to Greg was because the man I was with at the time was very verbally abusive and I wanted to know what I should do, so I messaged Greg.

When Greg and I started dating it was just after I had ended my 4 year relationship with my ex.

I was OKAY before my ex, I loved myself... I was happy with how I looked and how I acted, but ever since that relationship I have been scared of who I am.. I've hated the real Shiloh since that relationship.

I spent 4 years being told I wasn't good enough, yes I have changed.

Will I ever be myself again? I have no idea. I really wish Greg could know who I was before my ex, things would be a lot easier for us.

Don't let your first love ruin you, because you'll find someone you love even more than you ever imagined
and wish you never gave your soul and personality to the one before him....

I love Greg more than I have loved anyone, he will always be my one true love, I will fight for this man until I can't move anymore.


  1. hope the best for you ...your number one fan alex :)

  2. I feel the same way as you do shiloh, im just waiting for my "greg" to come find me.

  3. I went through the same thing as you Shiloh, I just wish you and others didn't have to go through what I did..:( I wish you both the best, and hope your pregnancy is smooth and your baby is healthy and beautiful, like you. :)

  4. i hope that in tour future you be Happy. whitout forgettin your past cause that past its going to be your inspiration to keep moving on to be more you and to love until your bones get in to dust to your love one ... AND I wish you the best and want you keep doing videos wiht greg in very fan of both of you .!

  5. I went through the same exact thing. It's extremely hard.

  6. I got crashed by my first love and now it's just perfect.
    No other could have been enough.
    And i'm unbreakable now, since all of my have been smashed.

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  8. i went exactly through the same thing... when i was 16 i was dating a girl... somehow she changed me... my personality overall... i think i was happier, funnier, and nicer back then... but now i'm a different person. i'm different from who i wanted to be. from who i was, and it's too late to change it. i can't. and the worst part is... i'm aware of my change...

    what i wouldn't give to go back and undo everything... i swear i would be a better person. it's amazing how you can change so much for one person only to be stepped on in the end...

    love is so blind...

  9. Shiloh, I really have no idea why I'm following this whole thing....I guess I just started as an Onision fan, and then a lover of your music. Somewhere in the mix, the drama of your relationship came up in all these videos. I just saw Greg's deleted "The Truth" video, and someones response to it led me here.

    Being a fan for so long, I guess it's only human for me to care despite you being a complete stranger to me. But, suddenly, I care a lot.

    Maybe I'm missing something...but seeing what Greg did to you and then seeing you swear to keep fighting for him truly shakes me to the core. I love the girl I've seen in your music videos, and "bunnies" girl....I hate that Greg has taken that part of you away. I hope that you realize that you don't deserve to be treated that way, that you deserve to be listened to, and find the strength to be your best again.

    Perhaps the reason I've become so interested in this drama is because it is so similar to my own. You remind me of myself- a singer, a similar style, hyperactive when happy and completely shattered when I hit a rough spot. Greg is just like the love of my life who just kicked me out of his life...they both like to be very "philosophical" and therefore very smug about being right. But anyway, seeing the way Greg treated you and how he acted afterwards gave me a lot of insight as to what was going on in my love's head. And although I still have these undying feelings for him, I know now that he will do nothing but destroy me even further, and that I should let them die rather than fight for him (which I was doing for a time.)

    I know it's easier to see from an outside perspective...I just hope that one day you can see it for yourself. I may be wrong, I obviously don't know everything about the two of you. If anything, thank you for being an inspiration to me, both as a person and as an artist.

  10. Why would you ask a complete stranger what you should do about your abusive relationship? Instead of consulting .. oh, I don't know .. a therapist maybe? Or .. family? Friends?

    And now .. why air all the dirty laundry online? Yes, you can come back at me saying "well, greg is airing dirty laundry too!" Well, I have 2 words to say to that: HIGH ROAD.

  11. Shiloh i feel the exact same way and its sad and dark and i too wish i clouldve been more to him and wish he kneew whobi really was, having somebody you once loved go around thinking that you are an evil spirit just breaks your heart with every step you know ita not true and you know you could have an amazing time with that person if they would just have the patience to unlayer it all. But then you just have to tell yourself well shit his mind is somewhere else i need to get ovrr it, but then you never do yea im living it. Honestly i think greg misses you justvas much as you miss him, you two did make some entertaining quality vids.