Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Today I Am Sleeping

Today I sat at home writing up my ressume..
So many people have been asking why I need to get a job if I'm a singer, this has been particularly depressing and I rather not get into it.
I also don't have what I need to make video's anymore so I need to find another way [imovie crashed on me it SOMETIMES works ugh..]

My friend named one of his kittens Minka [just like my kitty] which was cool.
I finally got my hamster used to me and he doesn't bite me anymore he just sleeps on my chest.
I also bathed my bunny cause he pooped on himself :/ Poor little guy.

There are tornado clouds outside and it's rather stressful and scary so I don't like that.

I still don't know where I am going in my life, I don't know where I will be in a month... it's a scary thought but when life gets pulled out from under you its hard to stand up again.

I have decided I will not be reading comments on my youtube anymore because the hate is overwhelming. Thank you to Harry & Alyssa for mod-ing my facebook and cleaning out the hatred.

I find myself being sad a lot... missing the beautiful moments, I distract myself as much as possible at night because thats when time's are the worst. During the day I find things to do, but a lot of the time I am bored.

I am living in a rather dangerous small town so I stay inside a lot.

Thank you to the people supporting me and sending me their best wishes it's really nice of you all.

29 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Good luck Shiloh. You should stick by your friends. It also couldn't hurt to reach out to loyal fans. There are people out there who'd love to chat and support you while you're... in this state. Remember you're a good person at heart and that you're young. You may have been through a lot, but there is still so much more for you to experience. Love and sorrow.

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  3. Y'know... Despite what people say about you.. You seem pretty well rounded. Like here you are serious. In your videos you are funny (and serious sometimes). And you take the time to express your feelings. Shiloh.. I look up to you now. You are an Inspiration. :) Lots Of Love!! <3

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  4. BTW! You are in my prayers. That you stay safe, get a good job, and stay amazing! ^_^

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  6. Stay wise, stay strong. Peace, Love, and understanding. My heart with you!

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  7. shioh why dont you go back to college

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  8. shiloh dont stop aking vids people eventually will get ver it

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  9. You can keep posting videos, just disable comments! Or enable the setting where they have to be approved before they're posted, at let someone else sort through.
    You still have a lot of fans who care about you no matter what other people are saying!! :) <3

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  10. Stay Strong<3
    We love you Shiloh (:


    http://mintycowsarecreepy.blogspot.com
    -Regina

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  11. We all have our rough patches in life. Things maybe very hard for you right now, but it's never too late to choose the right path and make things better. Take the time to collect yourself, and focus on the positive. This stage of your life will not last forever.

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  12. LOVE YOU SHILOH!!!!!!!!
    <3
    I had a pretty shitty/insane day myself.......
    I hope things work out for you<33333

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  13. <3 stay strong.

    I'm going through alot of the same stuff as you right now too. And i like reading your optimistic blogs, because it helps me feel a little better as well.

    Lets get over this together :]

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  14. Hey Shiloh, I don't know you closely but I know what it's like to go through really hard times when you feel trapped and don't know what to do... I want you to know that even if no one else says this to you, know that I think you're a funny, quirky, awesome girl, you kick ass Love, and you'll get through this. If you ever need to talk to anyone at any time, if it's about your troubles or you want to talk about your day, you can email me at dyansavage@hotmail.com.... If you want to, awesome, if not, thats okay too :) I just want you to know there's a hand to help if you ever feel like you're slipping.
    Peace,
    Dyan.

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  15. Pffft, you don't need any one else but yourself. I know how it feels at night, that's when you realize just how alone you are with nothing but the cold silence of truth encompassing you. It hurts and all you can do is think and think and analyze everything. It's hard to just clear your mind and be with yourself. I just got through a very traumatic break up with my two year gf. And for a long time I was devastated. She did some very vindictive things even though she was the one to break up with me. It's hard to move on. Because you don't want to. I know I'm a stranger but I feel your pain. I'm sure you get thousands of offers of open ears, but I am here as well as most of your fans and friends if u need a shoulder.

    Ps, I only watched his videos because of you being in them. And I love your haircut. I shaved my head before brittney made it cool, lol, it's tuff being a bald female, so kudos to you, draw strength from it

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  16. You shouldn't have made up fake memory losses and fake sleep talking shit or manipulate Onision so hard. Both of you are the dumbest people on the planet, though. You still can't figure out how to use apostrophes and you're 18? Sad. And Onision believed everyone of your OBVIOUS lies. When you ask yourself why shit is happening to you, there's only YOU to blame. Oh, and karma.

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  17. You guys are horrible. have you nothing better to do that make up hateful things to say to someone you don't personally know instead of, oh idk, carrying on with your own life? Next time you guys (hateful people) are going through a hard time, let's have everyone bombard you with bullcrap. If you weren't physically there when the ordeal started, shut your mouth and leave everyone alone. Acting like you know EXACTLY what happened and why is horrible. Can't wait till people grow up.

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  18. The very end got me. It's often right before I go to sleep that the things that hurt spring up. I usually pass out watching a movie that I've seen a thousand times... I sometimes wish I could talk to YOU in person(or skype :P) because I'd like to be your friend... I think we'd both be surprised :s anyway... Be careful Shiloh.

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  19. Oh my gosh, I can't believe living alone with pets only... What did Greg do to you? >_< Sorry. ily :] <3 You'll make it, you have your friends. Egh, I feel so bad for you. I mean, I still like Greg. But this whole SITUATION, like... I just don't like how he doesn't even talk to you.
    I love you <3 (I'm naming my baby girl Shiloh... Just saying)
    :) -Vanessa K.

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  20. Huge fan of your music so wanted to check out your other videos when I found your blog url. Keep your head up and know that you're insanely talented and have a lot to live for. Maybe go visit your family or some friends? Go on a vacation.

    Side note: Feed your bunny a pelleted food with lots of fiber in it and provide a lot of hay. That will help prevent poopy butts. :P

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  21. Never let anyone rob you of your peace.

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  22. shiloh, I promise that if you stay strong and just believe (super corny , I know) you will pass this and live a wonderful life. You're still young and you can really do whatever you want. You're in my thoughts Shiloh.

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  23. This will all get better sugar plum ^-^
    You are well loved by us that say nice things.
    The people that send hate are just trying to break you like bullies. You will be strong and we will support you (:
    -Sarah

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  24. oh shiloh, how i wish we were friends. we'd find a whole bunch of fun stuff to do to take your mind off of things. message me if your ever interested! you seem like an amazing person! so keep your head up and smile as much as you can. believe me, it helps.

    -annie

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  25. People have different ways they get hurt and suffer, but the suffering between people is always similar. When you said the night was the worst, it kind of struck something in me. I've known that feeling of the night being the worst for as long as I remember,it's just one of those things. I hope you can stay strong and work through the night though, cause day is on the other side every time, you have to remember that. You have so many people willing to talk to you if need be, so much support even with the hate. I know im an expert on those night feelings, try to stay strong.

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  26. when i first found out about this whole situation it was through onision (greg) so i took his side...after seeing some of the videos he has posted and reading the things you have written i believe that you are not the bad person here. It's hard when you're treated like crap and you try to tell someone and no one believes you. I've been there. You have so much love and support coming to you shiloh, stay strong. are you still in the states or are you back to canada? i'm canadian so i would love to see you back here :) <3 lots of love hun

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  27. Hey,
    i dont know what to say, that you havent already heard. But i might just give it a try.
    I feel your pain. I know what its like, when youre with a partner, that just draws you into his life and views and comfort, so that when he leaves, you feel like there is nothing left. Nothing is as much fun, nothing is as exciting. He kindled something in you, that you loved and that people loved... and now youre hated by people who have no real clue what happened... and youre alone... and of course - constantly reminded of the whole shit. I know it when you just have no idea how youre life is gonna be and you are so scared of the whole process.

    Please, just remember that everything he might have released in you is still there. Everything that you need to be loved and happy and free is still there. You are still all that you were, even though this phase might not let you show it.
    Move on, let go, the sooner you do, the earlier the good things will start coming back to you.
    Isa

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